It has been almost two years to the day since my last post. I have written a ton. Sermons. Email updates. Devotionals. Generations plans and material. I have written down stories. I have even written about the emotions and spiritual pressures in the lead up to starting a new faith community. While I was in the midst of it all, I found it difficult to share the words in writing. Like I said, I wrote a ton, but it did not seem adequate. At times what I would write seemed almost too good to be true, especially the numerous answers to prayers. Other times, I was scared to share because I did not want my words to be perceived the wrong way.
I was always conflicted in my soul as I secretly evaluated my journey of church planting. I would often compare it to others’ journeys. What was their training? What is their background? How old are/were they when they planted? What success are they having by the metrics of multiplication and disciple-making? The comparison was never out of spite or pride. I have been told enough times the comparison trap in life and ministry will eat you up and spit you out. I evaluated and compared the stories because I wanted to figure out exactly what God was doing. I wanted a better understanding of God expressed in these other stories so that I could better understand mine. What was He up to in the midst of all these different locations and planters’ lives?
My whole life I had been conditioned to get it “right.” I have always been good at gaming the test in order to get the answers “right.” Even when I tutor kids on Thursdays I find myself explaining the logic of test makers and how to reduce your options down to two without even knowing any of the material. What I have become increasingly aware of is my desperation to know the “right” answer once again. This time…it comes in the form of church planting. I want to get it right. However, for the first time in my life, there is no “right” answer on a graded test or argument to present to persuade. Because even if I got something wrong, as in the past, I could attempt to talk my way into a differing score. This experience is another thing entirely.
My subconscious would not let me escape the nag of getting it “right.” The desire of knowing exactly what God was up to came out in the first sermon series at Generations. KNOWN. The mystery that had been hidden for ages and generations was made known in Jesus, which is Christ in you (the Colossians and those of us that are believers) the hope of glory. Thy mystery of the “right” answer is only found the centrality of Jesus in my own life.
God has not given me some glorious picture of the future for Generations Church. Some perfectly “right” location that I can take it to and then be graded in order to be given an A. I am not sure why He would give me some insight into the other stories when they are viewed through social media or even passing conversations. During my yearly reflection, I have realized that some of my joy in seeing God work through others began to drift into a critical spirit about my own journey. Was I getting it “right” and can I prove it?
On this side of the “launch” of Generations Church, What God has reaffirmed in my soul again and again…what is known is Jesus. Give people Jesus. Point others to Jesus both in word and deed. Follow Jesus. The mystery made known is not how to get planting a church “right,” instead it’s Christ in us (those who believe) the hope of glory. I am the recipient of this good news of Christ’s presence in our lives being the hope and knowledge that we need.
To do the above well…I must pay attention to Him, pay attention to those in proximity to me, and give voice to what I see. I may never know what God is exactly up to across the country even though I like to analyze it. My journey in church planting does not belong to me at all. I am participating in a project that’s already underway. God is at work in Vancouver, WA.
He is at work in the lives of everyday people committed to expanding His family together because of Jesus for generations to come.